Recently in the part of the birth world I see there has been some tragedy.
My mother was in a car accident 22 years ago and lives in a wheel chair still. The accident was a one car accident on a piece of road in a very rural area. It would not be considered a place that an accident like this would occur. Though she was not wearing a seat belt she was told had she been that likely she would have been cut in half by the windshield coming through. Who knows? I know that she is in a wheelchair with even restricted movement of arms and hands and has been for 22 years. It was a terrible accident.
When I was in 7th grade one of the cutest guys in class died swimming in a lake that he had swam in all of his life. He was 13. It was an awful accident.
One of my best friends in school when she was 17 ran into a tree. Her pelvis was crushed and she required surgery to be able to walk again.
At 18 I had a friend that died along with 3 other friends on a county road and flipped the car.....
I could go on. You could go on. Life is full of terrible things on personal levels and if we go larger we will have to deal with large scale tragedy.
Recently there were babies born at home. One didn't live and another is permanently damaged at a homebirths.
All of these are terrible and worse yet if they happen to us or someone is close to us. Is there no where in life where life is guaranteed to be what we want it to be. Is there anywhere we can be assured that something will not happen to us or our children?
Who is to blame? Who should be responsible? Can lawyers make all of this right? Insurance? Letters behind peoples names? Laws? Will it ever happen again?
We all have to live life on life's terms. My babies died in the hospital. There was no one to blame. No body did anything to me. What it did make me realize is that there are no safer places. No guarantees. I still miss my boys. I miss the friends that I have lost as well. And I don't like living with the consequences of injuries.
Should we then be afraid to drive, to swim, to birth at home? These are all things that almost always enrich our lives. When we are talking about natural, normal human events that we all partake in we can only boldly walk on as fragile people and take life as it comes.
My dear friend Bill Lowman told me before he died that he wanted me to remember one thing. As I went out traveling through life that the next time that I "broke down" remember that it happens to everybody.
"Mourn with those that mourn and laugh with those that laugh." The Message
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Question of Safety
This last week 2 of my daughter had a car accident that totaled the car. 2 months ago my other daughter had an accident and totaled her car. They all walked away including the little ones . They were sore with a bit of whiplash that will take some time at the chiropractors getting the kinks worked out.
When these young women got into their cars they didn't think that they were going to wreck and even if they had because of the ice on which they were driving it likely would not have changed anything.
They do not get into the car now and think about the death and injury statistics about cars and how dangerous they are. Driving in cars is a foreign practice. Meaning that it is man made and not natural to the human body yet we trust it because it gets us where we want to go. Other than some flashbacks once in awhile they are now driving without fear.
Why are we so afraid then of birth. Birth was designed and not man made and gets the baby where it needs to be.
Almost every young woman that comes into my home after we start talking about birth gives a shudder and is frightened. If we have a talk about cars they are not frightened they are even excited to get a new one. They are more likely to die or have a child die in a car accident than in birth. Why is there so much fear surrounding birth.
It is irrational. There is no where in life that we can expect to be safe and without danger. That is a fact. There are viruses, bacterias, disasters, accidents and all forms of possibilities that could threaten to or take our lives or those of people that we love at any moment. We do not sit around thinking about that. People that do are put on medication or are in therapy as it isn't a healthy way to live yet.... why do we do this about birth?
Where have the messages that you play in your head that make you shudder about birth come from? Do you trust the other information that you get from those sources?
Birth is not a medical event , it is a life event ,and as such there are no assurance other than the assurance that we walk out in every day in our lives. That is a lot of assurance. We walk out boldly knowing and trusting that floor boards will hold us up, that cars will get us where we are going, that the food we eat will sustain us and that we will wake up in the morning.
We only need apply this to birth we already know how to do it.
When these young women got into their cars they didn't think that they were going to wreck and even if they had because of the ice on which they were driving it likely would not have changed anything.
They do not get into the car now and think about the death and injury statistics about cars and how dangerous they are. Driving in cars is a foreign practice. Meaning that it is man made and not natural to the human body yet we trust it because it gets us where we want to go. Other than some flashbacks once in awhile they are now driving without fear.
Why are we so afraid then of birth. Birth was designed and not man made and gets the baby where it needs to be.
Almost every young woman that comes into my home after we start talking about birth gives a shudder and is frightened. If we have a talk about cars they are not frightened they are even excited to get a new one. They are more likely to die or have a child die in a car accident than in birth. Why is there so much fear surrounding birth.
It is irrational. There is no where in life that we can expect to be safe and without danger. That is a fact. There are viruses, bacterias, disasters, accidents and all forms of possibilities that could threaten to or take our lives or those of people that we love at any moment. We do not sit around thinking about that. People that do are put on medication or are in therapy as it isn't a healthy way to live yet.... why do we do this about birth?
Where have the messages that you play in your head that make you shudder about birth come from? Do you trust the other information that you get from those sources?
Birth is not a medical event , it is a life event ,and as such there are no assurance other than the assurance that we walk out in every day in our lives. That is a lot of assurance. We walk out boldly knowing and trusting that floor boards will hold us up, that cars will get us where we are going, that the food we eat will sustain us and that we will wake up in the morning.
 |
| My mom injured in a car accident 21 years ago, still in a wheelchair and her 3 great grandbabies all born at home. |
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Malfunction or Not a Male function.
I was watching a show a few days ago and it had a birth scene in it. As usual I wondered what screwy idea are they going to try to give women about birth this time? Let me back up a bit. This is a show that has machines that are almost human, organically speaking (yes I am a sci fi fan). Ok so the "woman" machine is having this baby and the doctor says " well I see they didn't improve the plumbing any , we are going to have to C-section."
And we wonder why woman have trouble accepting themselves with all that "malfunctioning plumbing" down there.
The human body has an intricate and wonderful design that include everything about the woman's reproductive parts and the birth process. There is anything faulty about it and it isn't plumbing. As the Good Book says (Fiddler on the Roof) "we are fearfully and wonderfully made" (the Book) .
Not a few minutes later a man in our group said something about another character in the show that was acting like a coward, the comment was "he acts like a girl". WHAT!?
Woman= faulty parts and cowardly qualities. Any wonder that women are fearful of having babies surely there must be a brave perfect man that could birth better because he has better plumbing..... wait a minute..... mmm men having babies ahh no. Male birthing mindset here.
This is just one show, not even a very good one, and this message is spread throughout our culture. It is everywhere it comes up in conversations with people that don't even believe it. But if we listen and don't object and if we keep passing it on, lots of women are going to believe that they are cowards and that their ability to birth won't work.
Don't believe it ladies, you don't have plumbing, you are not built by hands of men and the design is made for you to give birth as you were intended to. And you are very brave to carry children inside your own body, to look out for their welfare before they are born, you know the secrets of that baby inside you more than any other human being.
Ladies we are not malfunctioning. We are letting a system tell us how to give birth and it isn't working very well. The system is having a malfunction. And birth.... well it isn't and won't ever be a male function the plumbing is just all wrong!
And we wonder why woman have trouble accepting themselves with all that "malfunctioning plumbing" down there.
The human body has an intricate and wonderful design that include everything about the woman's reproductive parts and the birth process. There is anything faulty about it and it isn't plumbing. As the Good Book says (Fiddler on the Roof) "we are fearfully and wonderfully made" (the Book) .
Not a few minutes later a man in our group said something about another character in the show that was acting like a coward, the comment was "he acts like a girl". WHAT!?
Woman= faulty parts and cowardly qualities. Any wonder that women are fearful of having babies surely there must be a brave perfect man that could birth better because he has better plumbing..... wait a minute..... mmm men having babies ahh no. Male birthing mindset here.
This is just one show, not even a very good one, and this message is spread throughout our culture. It is everywhere it comes up in conversations with people that don't even believe it. But if we listen and don't object and if we keep passing it on, lots of women are going to believe that they are cowards and that their ability to birth won't work.
Don't believe it ladies, you don't have plumbing, you are not built by hands of men and the design is made for you to give birth as you were intended to. And you are very brave to carry children inside your own body, to look out for their welfare before they are born, you know the secrets of that baby inside you more than any other human being.
Ladies we are not malfunctioning. We are letting a system tell us how to give birth and it isn't working very well. The system is having a malfunction. And birth.... well it isn't and won't ever be a male function the plumbing is just all wrong!
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