Recently in the part of the birth world I see there has been some tragedy.
My mother was in a car accident 22 years ago and lives in a wheel chair still. The accident was a one car accident on a piece of road in a very rural area. It would not be considered a place that an accident like this would occur. Though she was not wearing a seat belt she was told had she been that likely she would have been cut in half by the windshield coming through. Who knows? I know that she is in a wheelchair with even restricted movement of arms and hands and has been for 22 years. It was a terrible accident.
When I was in 7th grade one of the cutest guys in class died swimming in a lake that he had swam in all of his life. He was 13. It was an awful accident.
One of my best friends in school when she was 17 ran into a tree. Her pelvis was crushed and she required surgery to be able to walk again.
At 18 I had a friend that died along with 3 other friends on a county road and flipped the car.....
I could go on. You could go on. Life is full of terrible things on personal levels and if we go larger we will have to deal with large scale tragedy.
Recently there were babies born at home. One didn't live and another is permanently damaged at a homebirths.
All of these are terrible and worse yet if they happen to us or someone is close to us. Is there no where in life where life is guaranteed to be what we want it to be. Is there anywhere we can be assured that something will not happen to us or our children?
Who is to blame? Who should be responsible? Can lawyers make all of this right? Insurance? Letters behind peoples names? Laws? Will it ever happen again?
We all have to live life on life's terms. My babies died in the hospital. There was no one to blame. No body did anything to me. What it did make me realize is that there are no safer places. No guarantees. I still miss my boys. I miss the friends that I have lost as well. And I don't like living with the consequences of injuries.
Should we then be afraid to drive, to swim, to birth at home? These are all things that almost always enrich our lives. When we are talking about natural, normal human events that we all partake in we can only boldly walk on as fragile people and take life as it comes.
My dear friend Bill Lowman told me before he died that he wanted me to remember one thing. As I went out traveling through life that the next time that I "broke down" remember that it happens to everybody.
"Mourn with those that mourn and laugh with those that laugh." The Message
Very well said, Tracy. It is, of course, always a tragedy when a baby dies...when anybody dies. But taking a singular tragedy and using it to invalidate the majority of safe, healthy homebirths (drives, swims, eats, sleeps...whatever)does nothing but remove our individual rights to choose the set of risks & benefits we are each willing to take. Turning a tragedy into a media frenzy and a witch hunt only makes it more tragic... My heart goes out to those who have lost (and, as you point out, haven't we all)but I cannot understand the backwards logic that seems to accompany that, so often...especially if the issue is one of individual rights, out of the mainstream.
ReplyDeleteLoss is part of life. Death happens. My dad died while my younger siblings were still at home, from a vehicle accident that wasn't his fault. My mom is dying of a neurological condition that is extraordinarily rare. We cannot control life, and we have to live. Living in fear is not a fun way to go.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.