Midwifery Fitness

What does midwifery have to do with fitness? Hours and hours of squatting or sitting in strange positions. The ability to bear part of someone's body weight without injury. Hours without eating and little sleep. All of this is easier on you if you are fit.

What is fitness?

We tell women that they need to be fit, eat right and take care of themselves. We are examples and in place to practice what we preach. If we won't do it how can we ask them to?

We have many excuses for physical lack of fitness. It's too hot, it's too cold, I have to study/work or plain I am too busy.  That Mama She's Fit

We have excuses for not keeping mentally fit. Taking a class, learning something new or becoming better at something we know well. I am too busy, I am too tired or again I am too busy. (Gloria's classes)

We are a time of crisis in midwifery where midwives are angry at each other for the stances that they are taking on many issues. To keep emotionally fit in order to serve women, all women, we must learn to think from other points of view, to really examine another and see where they are right and how we can inform and encourage or we will all lose. Again the same excuses apply.   Australian Midwives in Trouble

Our spiritual health is what feeds ourselves, our families and our relationships. If we lose this to our excuses we very well may not have anything to offer those that we love or those that we serve.  My Faith

The interesting thing about fitness in all these areas is that as you put effort in you get more energy. As you find a way to exercise and eat right daily you will have more energy.  You recover quicker from long sleepless nights and stress is released.

When you challenge yourself to learn new things , thinking becomes easier and you stay sharp.

When you challenge yourself to know the issues that other midwives are facing and are willing to learn from each other and have relationships it strengthens our purpose as a whole.

Finally when you take time to practice your faith it will be strong when you need to depend on it. it will help others find the way to peace and hope and it will dis-spell fear.  Trust Birth

 I know that we can all make excuses to not take care of ourselves. if we choose the way of self-martyrdom and do not keep ourselves fit we become unhappy, discontent and often burnt out. Please take some time to examine what you can do to stay "holistically fit".

You may not fill in the blanks the same as I do but do fill them in. Become a fit person.

Skijoring

On the Farm

I was having a moment the other say remembering what it was like when we had our little homestead. Every year during lambing and we were quite excited. There was a season of time in which that we knew when the lambs and kids were coming but we were not at all concerned about the exact date or which ones were late, early or "on time" ,it was simply "lambing time".

We kept watch on which sheep were acting unusual and put them in the lambing shed for protection against wolves and dogs that might bother them while having there lambs. We checked once in every few hours, being very quiet not to disturb them, to see that things were progressing well. Mostly we listened. There is a certain sound of distress you could hear in the sheep if a lamb was not coming out well. The help we gave was usually to fix a bent leg or push a twin back so that they would come out one at a time. When our help was over we backed away to let the ewe finish her job. We very rarely moved a lamb unless it was needing help to breath and then we would put it right back so that the ewe would not reject it. We were careful to not disturb them as they might trample the lamb or run away. There were a few that we were close to that liked us with them and settled better when we sat close but for the most part most were happy alone. Some of the first time lambers might need a little help getting used to their lambs but pretty much that is all.

We made sure that our ewes were fed well, clean, not too rich, lots of water, mineral and salt blocks and plenty of fresh air. We rarely lost a lamb and only once lost a ewe that we knew was risky to begin with.

When I approach birth from this point of view and I recognize how much smarter women are than sheep I wonder at all the interference and fear that has been put on birth.

Shame on those people that have used intelligence against birthing women. One of the very things that sets us apart from animals has been twisted back and used to control what doesn't need to be controlled.

I witnessed a birth recently, watched it unfold unhindered. Afterward the mama said the me " I didn't know that anyone could have a baby without people telling her to push." She found out.  She would not have know that if she had not been where no one was. The dad was equally amazed that though the cord was wrapped around the babies neck he unwrapped it and everything was fine. He thought that every baby with a cord around the neck had to have a c-section. He would have never known unless he had had chosen a different way.

So many lies, so many fears. 

I am reminded something that I heard a preacher from Argentina say "If you want to see something different you are going to have to DO something different.

Is it just an experience?

I have heard this said many time by doctors who do not understand what truly motivates mothers. "Women are putting the desire for an experience above the health of their babies." Of course this has been said in regards to homebirth and other alternative birthing situations. The thought behind this is that mothers are so selfish that they do not care as much as the doctor about the welfare of their own babies. Mother's are expected to feel as if medically trained strangers care more about their unborn and newly born child than they themselves do.

The mother's that I know including myself made the decision to have homebirths because we believe it to be the safest place to have our babies. For ourselves and our babies.

We know that a holistic approach to health is important. We do not believe that you can separate physical, mental, emotional and spiritual into compartments and think that one outweighs the other. We believe that these are equally important. To say that you have a body at any cost makes no sense to us because we have seen devastation to mothers and their babies when the other health issues are ignored.

We know that drugs introduced into our bodies pass to our yet unborn babies bodies and effect them and that without a real emergency situation this should not be done because our babies may be harmed by them both short and long term. Some of the "normally used drugs" are having permanent effects on our children in the name of convenience and speed.

We know that each of us runs on a different time clock.

We know that bonding produces a lifetime of being able to bond and love others. A baby that grows up into an adult that can care for others is vital to our culture as a whole.

We know that our spiritual lives are vital  to the health of our families and though science and medicine may not be able to explain them they are as real as life and breath.

We know that without the right hormones that a mother's  brain chemistry will not work correctly and depression may set in causing damage to families.

We know that hospitals in general intimidate family and friends and they are not able to take their needed and natural roles in birth.

We know that if a hospital or medical personel causes us to panic or feel uncomfortable we will not be able to relax and let our bodies, that know how to birth, do what they were made to do. This will cause problems that lead to interventions that lead to less than healthy holistic outcomes.

We love our babies and we will do anything to make sure that they are brought into this world in a manner that is full of dignity for us as mothers and for our babies as whole mini people. We will guard this right passionately. We will let other mothers know when they have been lied to or stolen from.

We know that for us giving control of our person over to someone else is not safe and to fight with someone while in labor over that control is crazy. We know that we are vunerable at this time and so are our loved ones.

We know that though there are caring professionals they have lives and plans going on and we respect and know that they cannot possibly be as vested in the birth of our babies as we are. We hope that when we need them that they will be there and not punish us for not letting them be gods to us.

We know that many things that have been said to be unsafe and high risk are not because we have seen them peacefully happen in front of our eyes.

We do not believe that it is healthy to live in a state of "what if" and "yea but."

We know that it is the right of each woman to choose her own safe place and that we will guard this right for each woman.

We will let mothers know if someone has said that something is safe and we find that they are not telling the truth. We will keep looking for safer ways holistically for women to have their babies so that the experience brings life in every sense of the word into the world.

Though I am only speaking for some I hope that my voice and the voice of others in unison will bring freedom to birth without fear or interference to many women.

To those that have said that those of us who choose not to do it your way "we care more about an experience that the health of our babies". I say "SHUTUP"

Shameless plug for homebirth

 My disclaimer is that I wish to cause no woman pain. I am representing a birth side that has been repressed and still is. I am standing up for and speaking about what I know. This does not mean that I down anyone else or their way of thinking. But stand I will in the middle of the room.

When you get a new car do the people you know say "aren't you afraid that you'll die if you drive that?" or "don't you think that is a little risky taking that on the freeway you might cause your family harm" or perhaps "that just isn't safe, you are only thinking of your own selfishness to get somewhere faster than walking?". No I don't suppose that they have. We prepare ourselves or others help prepare us for driving and then we drive. It is a very dangerous thing to do. We weren't even made to do so. When was the last time you saw a person born with wheels?

Oh yea born. That is what I am really talking about here. We were made , women that is, to give birth. Check out the anatomy it is all there and contrary to medical belief the body of woman is what grows and births a baby.

"Aren't you afraid that you or the baby will die? "Well no actually there is more chance that I will die driving my car than having this baby.

"Don't you think your taking risks?" Ah, no again, last time I looked all the right equipment was there it worked to get pregnant, it'll work to give birth.

" Don't you think you are being selfish having that baby at home?" Mmmm resounding no. I think I am being very reasonable. It won't set us back for years paying off a hospital for doing to me what I don't want done because I am not sure and they can't tell me what will be the long term effects for my baby. And the bacteria and germs who wants to have a baby near all those sick people and in contact with the superbugs that live in hospitals?

I already did have those babies at home 4 of them. I heard all the questions and endured the years of horror stories from mothers who chose the other way. I kept silent and smiled while they told me that I just didn't know and didn't understand. Oh I understood and I smiled.

I am no longer silent on the matter.

I cry with the women that give me story after story of how there births were taken away and the outcomes questionable. I am mad that the woman that couldn't walk was told she pushed to hard and not that the epidural was done incorrectly. I weep with my friend that asked not to be too drugged that cannot remember the birth because she was doped up. I growl at the doctor that told the woman that she had to have the c-section because she had failed to progress and at her homebirth she tool a break at that point as well and then went on to have the baby. I cannot believe that the doctors tell women when they cut them, poke them, pull on the heads of their babies, scream PUSH at them, shove there feet in stirrups, drape their body as if would contaminate their own babies and then tell them they had to or they or their baby would have dies. Who the heck can argue with that??? Who do they think they are GOD or something???

I am so mad and have been pent up for years about it.

I am putting my mad into action. I sit down with young women and we dispel those fears. We walk through birth and pain and joy together. I stay with them and believe with them. I let them be in charge.

I will talk till I am blue and let women know there are other ways. I found a way. It worked. I am happy. My babies were happy and healthy now they are having there own in the same way and their babies are happy and healthy.

Now I know that things can go wrong like a car wreck that breaks your neck and you live for 20+ years not walking. I know that babies die in and out of the hospital. I know that people have heart attacks and young ages and die. I know that the wrong antibiotic after a successful operation can kill you. This is but a small part of my experience of life, death and suffering after all I have lived almost half a century. I am not naive nor flippant.

"What if something happens?" We darn well hope something will happen. We want that baby. It will take something to get him/her here.

Don't be afraid to live and birth. Don't be robbed. Don't listen to horror stories. Hear the truth. You were made to do this. You have the equipment. You can do this. This is natural not medical. Educate yourself and be brave... live and as in Spanish they say "Dar a luz" Give a light. Do it at home with those you love. Shine.

Family Healings in Birth at Home

I am privileged to have seen babies born into quiet safe places in their homes that are safe for both babies and their families. I have witnessed healing in moms, dads, and extended families.

At home people don't feel like they have to have permission to act. One mom was very sad that in her previous hospital birth her family had been on the other side of the room from her. She felt alone and didn't know how to reach out to them in her need. During her homebirth these same family members were right at her side getting her what she needed helping her to overcome a previous traumatic experience as she birthed her baby.

One young lady didn't know how interested her father was in birth and her baby until when the baby was born, in the home with him there, he was the first to hold his grandbaby and to sit with his daughter. She had a special moment alone with her dad in the space he felt safe in and she was amazed.

Another waited for 14 hours until her mother who she had a troubled relationship with until her mom made the long drive to arrive at birth. The mother of the woman's idea of birth was completely changed by the experience and new respect grew.

I have read that mother's are "selfish" because they want a "good experience" . There is more to women that is understood by many. Moms are the barometer of the home. When they are saying that birth needs be gentler and things need to be safe and at home they are saying much more than just that they want to be comfortable. They are saying that they want their husbands to feel safe to be who they are with them. They are saying that they want their extended families to feel safe to be themselves and be able do what they need to. When these things happen everyone is affected. Relationships are reordered. Ones that have not had trust may have an opening for trust to begin. With all that free-flowing oxytocin in the room people fall in love again. In-laws see value in each other.

Nothing is picture perfect in birth or in living life and there are no guarantees but time after time I have seen birth be one of those doors that opens in a person's life that allows changes to happen. These  doors are not open all that often and to not take the opportunity to let that change happen to moms , dads and the families that love them is sad.

Where is a woman and her family safest to be who they are and act the way they know they need to? This is question that affects the entire family long term. The healthy family grows healthy children.

Right to privacy

 As a culture we have been trained to let the professionals  tell us what is best for us. They interpret the data and summarize it for us. We trust that their own bias will not get in the way of that interpretation. We have been led to believe that they will not follow the $$. This idea has been schooled into us. This idea is not serving us well as birthing women.

So it is with midwifery. People want to see the government give authority to midwives so that woman can have  woman centered care or birth somewhere besides a hospital. This sounds all well and good until you take it apart.

We have a right to be in our bodies. We didn't need to get any permission from anybody on this planet to get here. We do not have to get permission to remain in our bodies. If a person does not know that they have this as a right or are too weak to claim this right  (controlling)  people may try to take this away.

Pregnancy and birth happen inside a woman's body that she has a right to be in. Where to give birth is an issue of rights. Not for midwives as a group or profession but for women as pregnant and birthing women."

With rights come responsibilities. If a group of people gives up their responsibility they give up there rights along with it. Responsibility can be a scary thing. It requires us to make decisions and accept the consequences of them.

Control and fear. Have you ever watched George Orwells 1984 or read it? It shows a society where people are kept in constant fear in order that the government can control them. Everything is uncertain and free thought is a crime. Whenever anyone tries to make you afraid  it is to gain control of you. To have you turn over that right to your body to them. To give them responsibility for you.

There are certain times in life where we have to give over this right. Before the age of maturity and when we are very sick in some way that we are not able to use the part of the body (brain) that guides in out decisions.

Pregnancy and birth are not sickness. If you give into this thinking what you are saying is that when, as a woman, I am pregnant or giving birth I am sick and unable to make decisions for myself I am giving up my rights to whomever. This has been imposed on women by laws. So what the law is saying is you are sick when you are in the "condition" of being pregnant or giving birth.

Are you getting mad yet. I did 20 some odd years ago. I don't think this was right and so exercised my right with whom I wanted when it was not legal. My body and my brain function just fine while I am pregnant and while I am giving birth. I choose to have people around me that when "in the moment"when I am less than strong my support ,that I have chosen, to have around me will help uphold that right. If in fact I am in danger I choose to let these people who love me make a decision for me.

"Birth is a human rights issue" is something I have seen around recently. It is true. It is. Women this is your issue. As women we have to be understand that in this country at this time you have rights. It is being taken away in other countries and in some it doesn't exist. Do you know that if you do not claim rights in our country that it is assumed that you have waived them. And do you understand that as a group that if we continue to waive out rights at some point they are forgotten?

 "I believe there is clearly a privacy issue involved in the right to offer and receive one's choice of services in health care, education, psychology and legal matters." Legal Guidelines for Unlicensed Practitioners. " Dr. Lawrence Wilson.

 Use it or lose it. We have to understand as moms and birthing parents that there is not anyone who has the right to make decisions for us unless we give them that privilege. We have the right to choose where and with whom we have our babies. We must use that right in order that we and others do not lose this right. This means on every procedure that is offered to us. We have the right of acceptance and refusal.

Our right to our person is too important to let slip away by slowly letting people we pay to take over our responsibility to choose what we will do with our  own body. We have a grassroot movement of women that are not afraid to take the responsibility and birth free of legislation.

A shout out to you women , those that have come before, those yet to come and the men that love ans support them. Let's keep pressing forward.

Prenatals

I love having the chance to talk with first time moms that are just beginning to learn about their bodies and birth. It is wonderful to speak to the fears that have been placed about birth in our society and show them
 for the empty bags that they are.

Prenatals are really my personal favorite part of the process of birth.  Being able to open up a box of awe and wonder with so many thing to discover and learn about is such a wonderful process. Knowing that as a young woman/ couple will be forever changed not only by a pregnancy, labor and birth but also by the process and discovery about it. The tools that they acquire won't just be for this time or this baby but will serve them throughout there lives. Principles such as trust, hope, vision, choices, connection and many others will be theirs as they begin practicing them.

Birth can be a foundational time in our lives. All births have the power to be this for us. They are a time of newness. We don't have to hold onto all that we thought we knew but can search and find out more and better way to do things this time around because it is all new again. We can grow from all the experiences that we have had before and lay them to rest that nothing will be the same at it was.

With each new piece of information that a woman receives, applies and sees new results there is a strength building that she can receive, apply and see new results in other areas of life as well. When we grow babies inside of our bodies we are a part of understanding new life. The spiritual quality of this gives us an open time in life to let life grow in all areas as they open.

I love prenatals. So full of newness and change.

Woman to woman relationships

Having a baby is one of those times when we really need other women. We need their support, love,  kindness and courage. What we don't need is their shame, guilt, worry and criticisms. In my faith it is said that the older women should teach younger women. This is the reachable ideal.

But for a few times in life my own  experience with women in my life has been anything but good and rarely kind. Frankly women still are a bit frightening and I am pushing 50. My mother and I were rivals and not close until I had my own children. My sister and I have spend years not speaking until we have gotten older and maybe wiser. I have had friends that when I made mistakes or changed we were no longer friends. This has all been painful and often I have wanted to build a strong wall of defense so it would never happen again.

Inspite of this I have an wonderful relationships with my daughters and are embarking on one with a grand daughter. I have the privilege of helping many women in that most open of places in a woman's life, pregnancy and birth.  I have had to evaluate and change myself at every step of the way in order for this to happen.

The woman that served in my births drove hours to get to my house in an illegal atmosphere and charged very little to sit with me through pre-labors and hours of labor. She didn't complain when she had to go home when the labor stopped and came whenever I called. She was a woman there for me in my time of need. There were things in my labors, knowing what I know now, maybe I would change and leave alone but I hesitate to bring them up because I was not left alone.

There are many reasons that women help women. Not all of them are nobel, kind or wanted. There are those that control, abuse, take over, stifle growth and all sorts of nastiness in the name of help.  There is a kind of woman that helps a woman to death. Takes over decisions, hovers and treats one like a fool. There is a kind of women that shares, encourages, empowers and loves to help other women with a desire to see a woman grow beyond her help.

Midwifery and motherhood holds a kind of power to bring women into right relationship with each other. It also has the ability to stifle growth and hurt women so badly that it can take them years, if ever, to recover and be able to reach out again.

Our bonds of being women with women have been almost thread bare in the lives of many of us. Many have given up and don't even try anymore. We are wary of each other often with good reason as we have been attacked when we were most vulnerable we needed the hands of those other strong women and it wasn't there.

How we are is how we are. If we are not kind we are not kind. If we help we help. We cannot pick and choose the who of it only the what. What this means is that if we are not kind to that woman, any woman, we aren't going to have the ability to be truly kind to the woman in labor. It is not going to happen. We aren't tigers one day and bunnies the next.

Back to the ideal. Women being there for each other in order that we can teach, learn, share, cry, birth, yell, have a fit, love without shame in front of each other in all walks of our lives.

Relationships with women is not going to be easy we are seasonal creatures and we change often through the month, the seasons and our lives. This is beautiful. There can be stability in change. The strong spirit that was put within us, this is the nurturer that is needed for life.

Women nurturing each other in pregnancy

The other day I had an amazing thing happen. I was driving with another midwife and I received a call that a dear friend had died. I was in shock. This friend reached out a touched my arm and told me how sorry she was.  I was undone. In that moment I realized how little of that I have received in my life and how much I needed it. A few days before I was at a birth and had helped a mom reposition, her hip was killing her. You know the spot if you have had a baby. I began rubbing it as she sighed in relief. Then she looked at me and said "how did you know where to rub, that was just the right spot" a few minutes later she let me catch her baby. I touched a woman in her need and I needed that too.

Why I do what I do... history

When I started homebirthing 25 years ago there were few people around who knew what a midwife. I lived in a state that midwives were illegal. I had the book Spiritual Midwifery by Ina Mae Gaskin and another book that was a beautiful book full of pictures that somewhere in my travels I have lost. Those two books gave me strength to see what I had know already  knew inside, that there was another way to give birth. It did not have to be controlled by someone else.

A year early I had a hospital experience where my  twin sons were born too early and died at 28 weeks. I had not been listened to when I called the doctor and told him I thought something was wrong. I was 8 cm when I arrived at the hospital, they drugged me, gave me a huge gash and left me with nothing. I didn't get to see my son that was born alive nor the one that was stillborn. I was alone and the back up that I was sure was ultimate fix, fixed nothing. It began me on a new path. One of the things on that path is what I now trust and what I know is fallible.

When it came time and I was pregnant again I embarked on a new journey and decided to have my baby, my way, with my husband and I.  As I trusted Life and I was led  to a midwife.
I had four births at home. All were wonderful. I did things the way I wanted. I took baths when I wanted. I ate when I wanted. I took my time. I made bread. I gave birth.

Every woman should have the chance to do what she was made to do. When we do what we are made to do we know deep inside that the other things that we were made to do can happen too. I healed through giving birth. My sons,though I lost them, brought me to understand where to put my faith. They forced me to seek for answers. They made me strong. Every birth and every child has a purpose.

I am now seeing and being with my own daughters as they have their babies. I have often been quiet in groups of my peers about my births because I didn't want people to feel bad. No longer do I do this. I understand that I know something that isn't meant to be a secret and that like many of the amazing things that surround birth I can give it to others. So as I begin to roar and speak what I know I hope that many fears will be shattered and women will know who and what they are called to be. Awesome powerful birthers , mothers and amazing partners. Lovers of Life and Truth in every part of their beings.

I love being a midwife to give this message to women and to be with them when they need extra strength or a laugh or two.

Labor with my fourth baby. A baby girl who is now married!

Why are we so misinformed?

I am currently a community midwife and a student in AAMI. I am also a homebirth mom. I am constantly amazed at the amount of misinformation parents are given about medical procedures that are done to them or their babies. I must say that this experience that I am going to share is one that left me speechless in the moment but will certainly make me speak louder in the future.

I was at a prenatal of a mother than was going to have her first baby. We had been talking about nutrition and the baby. She was clearly very happy to be pregnant. Everything that she put in her mouth was of concern to her. She had started exercising to improve her health. She had found out that the baby was a boy (which I won't address just yet). The conversation came around to circumcision. She lit up like the most exciting thing was going to happen and said "Oh, I want one of those, can you do it?"

What was she thinking? Where was she getting information from? How can this fit in with a healthy, natural and  undrugged homebirth?  She might as well have said "Episiotomy wow I can't wait to have one of those!"

I could only believe that she had not been educated on what a circumcision was. My daughter has assured me that people can hear the truth about things having to do with there children, knowing full well what they are, and that those people, parents, will still choose what is clearly harmful to their babies.

This is doctors talking about what they have found in performing circumcision.



This is an actual procedure. Very hard to watch. Everyone should watch it to be informed and to know what the truth is.

This is only a small part of the truth about  circumcision please research it further.

We can hope that those that see the truth will act on it.

Midwives gone?

A few weeks ago some one was at my cabin having a look around with my son. He mentioned as he was taking them on tour that I , his mother, am a midwife. The young couple was surprised as they had been told that midwives no longer exist. Like the dinosaurs we are extinct. A few weeks later a family member mentioned that it would be better if I were called something else as the word midwife made her think of things mid-evil. I can only imagine what thoughts those are.

We still exist and and midwifery is growing. Too many women have been put through the hospital assembly line and found themselves and their babies lacking in ... something.

There must be some other way. Birth must have another face to it. Surely for thousands of years women gave birth without all of these gadgets and interference. Women birthed their babies lived and thrived.

The earth is flat is what they were told and they believed it and even harmed those that said differently. Change comes slow. Truth will prevail. "Birth is safe, interference is risky" - Carla Hartley. Reminds me of a song we used to sing to my children when they were young. God Bless the grass that grows through the cracks. They roll the concrete over it and try to keep it back. The concrete gets tired of what it has to do. It breaks and it buckles and the grass grows through. God Bless the grass.

How we start anything in life affects how it plays out. How we birth our children lays a foundation of how we parent. A builders know that it is important to build a good foundation as it is one the hardest things of a house to repair if it cracks.